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[27 Oct 2006|10:27am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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HIM - Killing Loneliness |
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My heart hurts...I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time. I dont know what to do anymore either. I'm 20 years old with no job, no home, my friends pick my abusive prick ex boyfriend over me, and I've never felt so alone. I have no one to turn to and it seems like my face won't stop leaking. I'm lost...I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alone and so out of touch in my life. I wish the earth would swollow me whole, I wish I was forgotten, I wish I could start over. I'm not me anymore. I can't pretned all the time becuase it hurts too much. I want a strength, I want someone who I could confide in...someone who could love me with all my flaws. I wish I wasn't me. I can't save myself...I know this now. I just can't. It's hard to save yourself when you turn to drugs in order to take away all your pain. I want to be normal again but I can't...it's like my mind wont let me and my heart refuses to let anyone in anymore. I've lost trust in everyone because I haven't talked to them or when I do, they don't have time for me. When all I want is a hug and no one understands it. All I want is to be held and told that everything will be okay. I dont have anyone. My walls are crashing down around me and I'm feeling more and more vulnerable.
I just want to be happy again.
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[21 Feb 2006|03:32pm] |
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mood |
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..... |
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music |
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The Horropops- Miss Take |
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Sorry...this is now just a personal journal...
If Im going to have dark thoughts or really personal thoughts, they should be kept to myself.
No offense to anyone, its nothing personal.
This will just be somewhere to post all the emotions I have in me...
Thanks for understanding.
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4eva_a_lostsoul's journal
mellow